I like a gay guy; what do I do?

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Hi Guys,

I’m a freshman girl in college. I’ve never had a boyfriend and never dated anyone. I think the reason I’m still single is because I’m kind of shy and quiet and I rarely hang out with guys. However, I’m very involved on campus.

A couple of months ago I became friends with a cute and smart guy in the same student organization and he was very open about his sexual orientation. He is the perfect friend that anyone can have. He’s funny, charming, smart, and I can hang out with him and even talk about boys!

At first, we were good friends and hung out a lot, but lately I’ve been feeling uncomfortable and a bit jealous when he talks about another guy. He’s very popular so he probably considers me no more special than any other friend. I’m usually the one to invite him out and rarely the other way around. I miss him when I can’t see him for a day. I think about him all the time. I eventually realize that I like him more than a friend. I also notice that sometimes I try to look attractive around him or try to keep him entertained. I know it’ll always be platonic but I really don’t know what I should do.

Can you please help me?

Sara

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Dear Sara,

Thanks for your question.

Well this is exciting for you. No, not the fact that you like someone who is unavailable to you, but the fact that you’ve entered into a new realm. You’re having an awakening, which comes with a myriad of new emotions and feelings, some wonderful and some confusing.

You said yourself, you’ve never had a boyfriend or dated anyone, but in a way this guy is your first, because he’s inadvertently helped you come out of your shell. Without knowing it, he’s opened you up to a new world of queasy stomachs, butterflies and crushes.

We suggest you focus less on your feelings for him—he’s not going to change his sexual orientation—and start being open to meeting other interesting and smart guys, for which there are plenty.

Try to enjoy the friendship with this guy without trying to get him to notice you in other ways. And since he is so popular and knows so many people, maybe he’ll be the one to introduce you to someone else who you find just as exciting and cool. Keep doing what you’re doing. Say yes to invitations, join other organizations, and keep yourself open to new possibilities. This is all good.

Please leave us a follow up comment here in the comments section. And keep us posted. We’d love to hear how things are going with you.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

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